Moths VS. Butterflies

I hate anything with more than four legs. That being said, butterflies are kind of the only exception to that. I say kind of because when I admire them from afar I feel okay with them. However, if the touch me, land on me, or land near me, I will squish them so much that nothing will be left. Moths are a lot less okay. I hate them. So from now on I will refer to them as "Zombie Butterflies." Here are the pros and cons of each.

Butterflies (Pros):

• You can look at them and they are pretty.
• The butterfly may not eat you. Maybe.
• I don't think they have any horror movies made of them.
• Sometimes they can be used as wall art (Not recommended. See Moths (cons))

Butterflies (Cons):

• When they touch you, it is scary.
• One time a butterfly landed on my arm and I killed it. I'm also fairly sure it was testing to see if my flesh was adequately tender. 
• Some are poisonous.
• They can cause death, blood loss, and potential blindness. That's kind of a lie but it could very well be true.
• They have more than four legs.

Zombie Butterflies A.K.A Moths (Pros):

• When you buy a shirt you really hate and think is impossibly hideous, these creatures can eat it for you!
• If you don't want your outfit to be school/work appropriate just let a few of these flying terror machines loose in your drawer!

Zombie Butterflies A.K.A Moths (Cons):

• They can come back to life and kill you if they are the reanimated butterfly species.
• The Moth/Ugly Horrible Monster is terrifying in every way.
• There have been several moth-themed movies. (I.e. Mothman, The Gypsy Moths (okay that's about skydivers...), and Mothra) I have not seen any of those and potentially none of them are about moths.
• I'm sure there has been some sort of moth related death somewhere in the world.
• I had a dream the other night about this huge moth that flew into my bedroom and ate me and my family but we didn't die. We turned into moth people and successfully converted thousands of people into moth people as well and soon the entire population were hybrid moth people. Except my best friend. Oddly enough she was still a regular person at the end of my dream.

The end. That is my brief synopsis of butterflies and Flying Insects of Death.
If you see something that looks like that; run as fast as you can. Also: I don't know why the person in that picture is holding it. They might be a moth person.

ADIOS! THANKS FOR READING! 

White Out vs. Those Twisty Things You Get at the Grocery Store

This is the second installment of Versus.

White out is so useful. So are those twisty tie things. Do those have a name? I mean I'm fine with the name that I gave them but it's a little long sooo yeah. Anyway, those things are very useful most the time so now I'm going to list the pros and cons of each.

White out (Pros):

• When you make a mistake you can get rid of it!
• Sometimes when you don't have nail polish you can use it for that!
• Also when you're bored you can use white out as nail polish! It's fabulous.
• People make you upset sometimes and when you have white out you can just smear it all over their ugly little faces!
• You can eat it. Maybe... For a dare or something.
• It makes writing more fun! Just white out your oppsies LIKE THE COOL KIDS.
• You can be a cool kid.

White out (Cons):

• If you make someone feel upset they could smear white out on your face. That's just uncomfortable to explain to people. I.e. Other Person: "What's on your face and why is it there?"  You: "Uh... It's white out..." Other Person: "Oh.. That's awkward." You: "Yeah."
• You could probably die if you ate it. Probably.
• When you make too many mistakes, people can tell. It's not good.

Those twisty things you get at the grocery store (Pros):

• They keep your bags closed!
• You can use them to puncture something.
• If you string enough of them together, you can make a belt.
• When you're stuck in the wilderness and you need something sharp you can use one as a knife!

Those twisty things you get at the grocery store (Cons):

• When the outside comes off it's just metal. That's boring.
• I can't really think of much else.
• Yep.
• That's all I got.
• Uh...
• Why are you still reading?
• LALALALALALA
• Seriously.
• Stop reading...
• It's over now...
• Okay bye now!

Seiously! Thanks for reading! I don't know what else to say... So here.

Peace. Out.

Escalators vs. Stairs.

This is the first blog in an experimental ploy to gain the affections of new people. It's called Versus.

I love stairs. They're so pleasant to climb. Sometimes when I climb stairs I pretend that I'm a super mountain climber then I feel good. However, I can't say the same for the Moving Metal Death Machine. I hate escalators. They are so scary that sometimes I cry. That's right people, at the ripe old age of fifteen there are all sorts of spills when I encounter the escalator. For the sake of keeping this blog entertaining, I will list the pros and cons of each.

Stairs (Pros):

• They're like frolicking through a meadow.
• You can ride your unicorn up them without frightening it.
• If you spill food on the stairs you can lick it up and not get your tongue stuck.
• You can host a large party to celebrate most anything! (Except celebrating someone getting out of the hospital for falling down the stairs...)
• Sometimes people fall down them and it's funny!

Stairs (Cons):

• Sometimes you fall down them and it's not funny.
• Occasionally people get after you for running on them. (It's really not the stair's fault...)

Escalators (Pros):

• ...?

Escalators (Cons):

• You could die.
• There is a possibility of dying.
• Some people have died on an escalator.
• I got yelled at for walking quickly down one. (It was scary. The old lady who yelled at me had this vein in her head and when she was yelling at me it popped out and was like "OH YOU DUN COOKED YO' GOOSE KID." It was terrifying.)
• Escalators are scary.
• Sometimes they break down and it's scary and people are like "Oh my gosh! Run. Run. Run!" and then errybuddy gits all uptight.
• They're scary. (Did I mention that already? No? Okay.)
• You could get your foot chopped off... (Not sure if that's happened before but it very well could have.)
• If the person behind you gets too close then it looks like they're sniffing your butt... That's not good for anyone.
• You could die.

I think that I'm going to conclude with that. No, wait. This:

Kthxbai!

New Blog!

Hey guys! Short update here. I've decided to start a serious blog for some stuff and try to post more funny stuff here. So here's the link to the other blog for you! Also: I'll try to post some more stuff here soon! :)

-Goose

Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-?

Howdy ya'll! I realize how long it's been since I last put a good ol' post up here, and for that I do apologize. So much has happened since the last time I slapped my thoughts up on this here bloggin' site. Grades have come home, deals been made (and broken), simplistic, mundane daily tasks completed. So many things are different as the school comes to a close. My best friend is nearly fifteen and she will be having me over for mushroom burgers on the twenty-fourth. Exciting stuff!

But sadly there are disappointments in this life. Today, I am writing about an issue that is near to my heart. Bullying. Why do people of all ages feel the need to make others feel so utterly unimportant and unloved? What purpose does that serve? High school is a rat race and we're all in it together. So where has the camaraderie that everyone talks about gone? The answer is something people spend their lives in search of. I am ashamed of the way people act sometimes. Why should it matter what you look like or what you believe? Why, why, why?

Friends are the people who make it better. They are the ones that sit with you when you're hopelessly sobbing after being called ugly or other atrocities. They are the people that tell you otherwise even if you don't believe it. I'm at a loss for words when my own friends come to me and tell me they've been bullied. They tell me about the people who call them names and so on. What makes people rude, ignorant swine? What makes them so insecure that they feel the need to inform people of their flaws?

I wish that more people could read this blog. I wish they could see the impact their harsh words have on others. I only wish I could help the people who live their lives in fear and in tears. Wishes on eyelashes, right? I've decided that I will make that change, spread a smile, not think badly of others. I will give out a compliment to those who receive everything the opposite of what is right. That's what I'm going to do to make a change. The point of this blog post is to make a serious call to action, and it would be this, stop the needless bullying. Stop the unkind words. Instead fill a person with happiness. It doesn't need to be 'roll out the red carpet' but instead smile at that person on the bus, compliment that friend that looks down in the mouth, or just open the door for someone. 

Thank you  for your help in making this world a better place,

Goose  

How Do You Know?

I would like to offer a formal apology for this serious blog. I have some things I need to get off my chest, and I don't like using you guys to vent but I think you may enjoy my hopeless ponderings. I promise I'll write a funny blog post after this one so you can all skip the boring, serious, slightly annoying person that won't shut up.

So here goes nothing...

How do you know your family loves you? How do you know who your friends actually are? How do you know if your life is impacting those around you? These are the questions that fog up my mind on a daily basis; especially in the recent weeks. As humans it's a normal thing to wonder how our lives impact the ones we love. Many have the feeling that they're smothering loved ones. Parents want the best for their children, friends want friends to be safe and healthy, and extended family pray the cousins, aunts, and  uncles they love so much are happy and safe.

 But have you ever wondered "How do I impact my friends and family?"  Do you say those three words enough? Do you tell loved ones how much you care about them? Do you ever think you care too much? Maybe you think caring for someone who doesn't care for you equally is just wasted time. Or maybe you can't remember the last time you told them you care. Well, if any of those describe your feelings then guess what. Go ahead, guess. No? Okay, I'll tell you. YOU'RE A NORMAL HUMAN! The truth here is that relationships with all people, that inhabit this here earth, are difficult. You can't predict the future or try to change the past. You can't change someone for what you think is the best. They have to come to  a conclusion on their own.

Let me give you the secret to life. Are you ready for this? It's gonna blow your mind; you may even want to sit down for this. Are you sitting? Okay, here it is. Actions speak louder than words. If you want to make a difference for someone just be who you are and stand firm to your beliefs. Every action, good or bad, has a repercussion. If you think that you don't say "I love you enough" then just say it.Or better yet, act like it. Be that one person to sit by the kid or coworker that doesn't appear to fit in. Be the one to send a thinking of you card. Or just be that one.

I'll end my pointless rambling with this. Be that one. Be the one that could make a difference to and for those around you. Just be there. Don't be afraid to be there. Don't be shy to sit next to that weird kid, after all they could turn out to be your lifelong best friend.

Sincerely,

Goose

(P.S. Here's a picture of an alpaca to make up for my non-funniness)

I LOVE YOU!!! :D

Friends are like good music. You can listen to them for hours. Until 2 am if necessary. Why? I have no clue really, but I mean who cares? I can talk about anything, anyone, and EVERYTHING with bestfriend. She always know what I mean when I have a retard moment and I start slurring and spitting and saying things like "HEY GUESS WHAT!! OKAY I'LL TELL YOU!! I HAVELFBSDFVBLGFVLJDHBF!!!" Even though human I know would be able to comprehend my nonsensical gibberish.

We have so many inside jokes that make no sense. Occasionally I get lost.

 "JK! *sticks out elbow*" -Bestfriend 

"... Freak ಠ_ಠ" - Me  


"No. (╬ ಠ益ಠ) DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE OTHER NIGHT?!?" -Bestfriend


"Oh... JAYYYYYKAYYYYY!!!!! See? I knew what you were talking about the whole time." -Me


"Oreofail!! :D" -Bestfriend


"What?" -Me


"Never mind. Just forget it." -Bestfriend


"Love you!! :D" -Me


"SDAFDFDloveyoutooFDSDGR" -Bestfriend


"What? I couldn't hear you!!!!" -Me


"ILOVEYOUTOO!" -Bestfriend


As I said before, I love bestfriend. She is an amazing person. Bestfriend is funny and smart and ALL AROUND COOL! She's like a bunny that is rainbow colored and sparkley and cute and cuddley and pretty and then the bunny eats a carrot and it's really cute and you just wanna eat it and then it hops over to you and it's all "Hey look at me! I'm freaking adorable! You should pet me!!" and you're like "OKAY :DDDDDD MUST PET BUNNY!!!!!" so you do and it bites you and you're like "OUCH STUPID BUNNY THAT LEAKS CUTENESS!!! DDDDD:" 


Sorry! I was watching tv and I got distracted! But Bestfriend is like a bunny minus the  "OKAY :DDDDDD MUST PET BUNNY!!!!!" so you do and it bites you and you're like "OUCH STUPID BUNNY THAT LEAKS CUTENESS!!! DDDDD:"  part. :DDDDD 


I LOVE YOU BESTFRIEND!!

LOVE YOUUUU!

-Goose