Moths VS. Butterflies

I hate anything with more than four legs. That being said, butterflies are kind of the only exception to that. I say kind of because when I admire them from afar I feel okay with them. However, if the touch me, land on me, or land near me, I will squish them so much that nothing will be left. Moths are a lot less okay. I hate them. So from now on I will refer to them as "Zombie Butterflies." Here are the pros and cons of each.

Butterflies (Pros):

• You can look at them and they are pretty.
• The butterfly may not eat you. Maybe.
• I don't think they have any horror movies made of them.
• Sometimes they can be used as wall art (Not recommended. See Moths (cons))

Butterflies (Cons):

• When they touch you, it is scary.
• One time a butterfly landed on my arm and I killed it. I'm also fairly sure it was testing to see if my flesh was adequately tender. 
• Some are poisonous.
• They can cause death, blood loss, and potential blindness. That's kind of a lie but it could very well be true.
• They have more than four legs.

Zombie Butterflies A.K.A Moths (Pros):

• When you buy a shirt you really hate and think is impossibly hideous, these creatures can eat it for you!
• If you don't want your outfit to be school/work appropriate just let a few of these flying terror machines loose in your drawer!

Zombie Butterflies A.K.A Moths (Cons):

• They can come back to life and kill you if they are the reanimated butterfly species.
• The Moth/Ugly Horrible Monster is terrifying in every way.
• There have been several moth-themed movies. (I.e. Mothman, The Gypsy Moths (okay that's about skydivers...), and Mothra) I have not seen any of those and potentially none of them are about moths.
• I'm sure there has been some sort of moth related death somewhere in the world.
• I had a dream the other night about this huge moth that flew into my bedroom and ate me and my family but we didn't die. We turned into moth people and successfully converted thousands of people into moth people as well and soon the entire population were hybrid moth people. Except my best friend. Oddly enough she was still a regular person at the end of my dream.

The end. That is my brief synopsis of butterflies and Flying Insects of Death.
If you see something that looks like that; run as fast as you can. Also: I don't know why the person in that picture is holding it. They might be a moth person.

ADIOS! THANKS FOR READING! 

White Out vs. Those Twisty Things You Get at the Grocery Store

This is the second installment of Versus.

White out is so useful. So are those twisty tie things. Do those have a name? I mean I'm fine with the name that I gave them but it's a little long sooo yeah. Anyway, those things are very useful most the time so now I'm going to list the pros and cons of each.

White out (Pros):

• When you make a mistake you can get rid of it!
• Sometimes when you don't have nail polish you can use it for that!
• Also when you're bored you can use white out as nail polish! It's fabulous.
• People make you upset sometimes and when you have white out you can just smear it all over their ugly little faces!
• You can eat it. Maybe... For a dare or something.
• It makes writing more fun! Just white out your oppsies LIKE THE COOL KIDS.
• You can be a cool kid.

White out (Cons):

• If you make someone feel upset they could smear white out on your face. That's just uncomfortable to explain to people. I.e. Other Person: "What's on your face and why is it there?"  You: "Uh... It's white out..." Other Person: "Oh.. That's awkward." You: "Yeah."
• You could probably die if you ate it. Probably.
• When you make too many mistakes, people can tell. It's not good.

Those twisty things you get at the grocery store (Pros):

• They keep your bags closed!
• You can use them to puncture something.
• If you string enough of them together, you can make a belt.
• When you're stuck in the wilderness and you need something sharp you can use one as a knife!

Those twisty things you get at the grocery store (Cons):

• When the outside comes off it's just metal. That's boring.
• I can't really think of much else.
• Yep.
• That's all I got.
• Uh...
• Why are you still reading?
• LALALALALALA
• Seriously.
• Stop reading...
• It's over now...
• Okay bye now!

Seiously! Thanks for reading! I don't know what else to say... So here.

Peace. Out.

Escalators vs. Stairs.

This is the first blog in an experimental ploy to gain the affections of new people. It's called Versus.

I love stairs. They're so pleasant to climb. Sometimes when I climb stairs I pretend that I'm a super mountain climber then I feel good. However, I can't say the same for the Moving Metal Death Machine. I hate escalators. They are so scary that sometimes I cry. That's right people, at the ripe old age of fifteen there are all sorts of spills when I encounter the escalator. For the sake of keeping this blog entertaining, I will list the pros and cons of each.

Stairs (Pros):

• They're like frolicking through a meadow.
• You can ride your unicorn up them without frightening it.
• If you spill food on the stairs you can lick it up and not get your tongue stuck.
• You can host a large party to celebrate most anything! (Except celebrating someone getting out of the hospital for falling down the stairs...)
• Sometimes people fall down them and it's funny!

Stairs (Cons):

• Sometimes you fall down them and it's not funny.
• Occasionally people get after you for running on them. (It's really not the stair's fault...)

Escalators (Pros):

• ...?

Escalators (Cons):

• You could die.
• There is a possibility of dying.
• Some people have died on an escalator.
• I got yelled at for walking quickly down one. (It was scary. The old lady who yelled at me had this vein in her head and when she was yelling at me it popped out and was like "OH YOU DUN COOKED YO' GOOSE KID." It was terrifying.)
• Escalators are scary.
• Sometimes they break down and it's scary and people are like "Oh my gosh! Run. Run. Run!" and then errybuddy gits all uptight.
• They're scary. (Did I mention that already? No? Okay.)
• You could get your foot chopped off... (Not sure if that's happened before but it very well could have.)
• If the person behind you gets too close then it looks like they're sniffing your butt... That's not good for anyone.
• You could die.

I think that I'm going to conclude with that. No, wait. This:

Kthxbai!

New Blog!

Hey guys! Short update here. I've decided to start a serious blog for some stuff and try to post more funny stuff here. So here's the link to the other blog for you! Also: I'll try to post some more stuff here soon! :)

-Goose

Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-?

Howdy ya'll! I realize how long it's been since I last put a good ol' post up here, and for that I do apologize. So much has happened since the last time I slapped my thoughts up on this here bloggin' site. Grades have come home, deals been made (and broken), simplistic, mundane daily tasks completed. So many things are different as the school comes to a close. My best friend is nearly fifteen and she will be having me over for mushroom burgers on the twenty-fourth. Exciting stuff!

But sadly there are disappointments in this life. Today, I am writing about an issue that is near to my heart. Bullying. Why do people of all ages feel the need to make others feel so utterly unimportant and unloved? What purpose does that serve? High school is a rat race and we're all in it together. So where has the camaraderie that everyone talks about gone? The answer is something people spend their lives in search of. I am ashamed of the way people act sometimes. Why should it matter what you look like or what you believe? Why, why, why?

Friends are the people who make it better. They are the ones that sit with you when you're hopelessly sobbing after being called ugly or other atrocities. They are the people that tell you otherwise even if you don't believe it. I'm at a loss for words when my own friends come to me and tell me they've been bullied. They tell me about the people who call them names and so on. What makes people rude, ignorant swine? What makes them so insecure that they feel the need to inform people of their flaws?

I wish that more people could read this blog. I wish they could see the impact their harsh words have on others. I only wish I could help the people who live their lives in fear and in tears. Wishes on eyelashes, right? I've decided that I will make that change, spread a smile, not think badly of others. I will give out a compliment to those who receive everything the opposite of what is right. That's what I'm going to do to make a change. The point of this blog post is to make a serious call to action, and it would be this, stop the needless bullying. Stop the unkind words. Instead fill a person with happiness. It doesn't need to be 'roll out the red carpet' but instead smile at that person on the bus, compliment that friend that looks down in the mouth, or just open the door for someone. 

Thank you  for your help in making this world a better place,

Goose